Silly Lauren

This is the after-dinner conversation tonight:

Lauren: Mommy, I want a brownie.
Me: I know. We have to wait for the brownies to finish baking. When the timer on the oven goes beep-beep, then the brownies will be baked. Then we have to wait for them to cool. And THEN you will get one.
Lauren: (ever so quietly) beep-beep. (then loudly) MOMMY! The brownies are done baking!
Me: Nice try!

A Day In My Life

Today went something like this:

• 5am - Logan woke up. I went in to give him his nuk. I tried to go back to sleep. Logan didn't.
• 5:30am - Brian got up to get ready for work.
• 6:15am - Logan was still making all kinds of noise. Not crying, but not sleeping.
• 6:30am - Joshy songbird is up. He's very loud.
• 6:40am - I get into the shower as both my boys are singing their morning songs.
• 7am - I get Joshua up, dressed, and his and Lauren's breakfast ready.
• 7:15am - I get Logan up, dressed, and his milk ready.
• 7:30am - I feed Logan while Josh eats cereal and watches Mickey Mouse.
• 7:45am - Lauren wakes up. I tell her to go into the bathroom and go potty, pick some clothes out to wear and get dressed.
• 8am - Logan is fed, burped and changed. Josh is still eating cereal. Lauren is still talking to herself in the bathroom mirror.
• 8:15am - Josh is done with breakfast. Lauren is still trying to find something to wear.
• 8:30am - Logan is hanging out in the exersaucer. Josh is continuously asking me if we can watch "Cars." Lauren comes downstairs in black tights that are not pulled up all the way and a shirt. I tell her to get some pants on.
• 9am - Logan is ready for a nap (go figure). Josh is playing with his trains. Lauren FINALLY comes downstairs dressed normally. I am trying not to throw my computer out the window.
• 9:15am - Logan is fast asleep in his crib. I bring in the tricycle from the garage so Josh can practice pedalling to get ready for spring. Lauren is dancing and singing along to the Cheetah Girls "Dig a Little Deeper" and some Hannah Montana on Radio Disney.
• 9:30am - Josh is pedalling like a champ all around the house.
• 9:32am - Josh and Lauren are fighting over the trike.
• 9:33am - Josh is crying because Lauren pushed him off the trike.
• 9:34am - Lauren is crying because Josh hit her.
• 9:35am - Josh and Lauren are each in separate corners for their time-outs.
• 9:40am - After apologies and discussion on why sharing is important and hitting is not okay they are best buds and off to the basement.
• 9:45am - They are both back upstairs for a snack.
• 10am - 12pm - Josh and Lauren are playing/fighting/crying in the basement. I am doing dishes, laundry, being a lawyer, finding out about the insurance coverage of Logan's circumscision (or lack thereof), building blocks, playing cars, dancing with Lauren, wiping tears, wiping noses, and drinking my Diet Mountain Dew to keep up.
• 12pm - Lunch
• 12:30pm -Naps for Lauren and Josh. Logan FINALLY wakes up!
• 12:40pm - Feed Logan.
• 1:15pm - Get out the Jumparoo for Logan - he LOVES it!!
• 1:30pm - Vacuum the floors.
• 2pm - Wash the kitchen/dining room floor while Logan jumps around.
• 3pm - Brian gets home. I run to the post office. All kids are sleeping.
• 4pm - All kids wake up. Brian feeds Logan. I get Lauren and Josh a snack.
• 4:30pm - Start thinking about dinner, as in "UGH.....what do I make for dinner TONIGHT?"
• 5pm - I start dinner as Lauren is looking through her Valentines and Josh is riding the trike.
• 5:30pm - Lauren finds the buttons that I cut off Logan's outfit today (I was afraid he would choke). Lauren sticks one up her nose.
• 5:31pm - Lauren starts freaking out because there is a button up her nose. Brian coaches her to blow her nose really hard into a tissue. The button flies out.
• 5:32pm - Brian talks to Lauren about the fact that we don't stick objects in our nose, ears, or mouth.
• 5:33pm - 6pm - Lauren and Josh fight over the trike.
• 6pm - Dinner. Logan lays down for a nap.
• 6:20pm - Josh is done with dinner as he refuses to eat and only insists on banging his fork against the table. He has a meltdown. Pleasant dinner audio.
• 6:45pm - Dinner is done. Brian is reading the kids a book while I clean up dinner.
• 7pm - We decide that since we have played hard all day with no tv we can watch a movie. We watch "The Incredibles" (our new favorite).
• 7:15pm - Logan wakes up.
• 8pm - PJ's for all three, milk for Logan, brushing teeth and books for Lauren and Josh.
• 8:15pm - Bed for Lauren and Josh.
• 8:30pm - Bed for Logan.
• 9pm - Bed for me........GOODNIGHT!

Lauren Knows All

Josh and I butted heads this morning. He got sent to a time-out, but he would not stop his wail. Brian calls him "soggy-face" when he does this. He's tears, snot, drool, everything....all at once. And the high-C wail that accompanies it is almost enough to make me lose my mind! Anyways, the wail continued, so I told Josh that he would have to go to his room if he did not stop yelling and crying. He did not stop, so I took him to his room. I was very upset with him and I felt bad about it. I came downstairs and laid on the couch feeling like I wanted to cry. Lauren walked over to me and this is the conversation we had:

Lauren: "Mommy, are you tired?"
Me: "No, mommy is just feeling sad right now."
Lauren (with an all-knowing nod): "Because I picked my nose, right."

She did not ask this, she informed me, as if she already knew! I told her it was not because she picked her nose, although that is so DISGUSTING! She laughed at this. : )

Lauren's "Disgusting" List

Lately everything for Lauren is disgusting. So, I thought I would make a list of things that she finds disgusting, as in "__________ is disGUSting":

• Milk
• Potty
• Josh
• Any mean words
• Any food that I make with the exception of chicken nuggets and tomato soup (not together)
• Kleenex
• Mud
• Bad guys in movies or tv shows
• "Cars"
• Her princess chair (she'd much rather sit in Josh's Cars chair because it bothers him)
• Dixie
• Poopy diapers (can't argue with that one!)
• Soap
• Naps

You get the idea. EVERYTHING that she does not want to do, say, look at, or deal with in general is "disgusting." This morning I asked her to go potty when she woke up and in her whiny three-year-old voice she said, "But I caaaaan't because the potty's disgusting" coupled with the foot stomp that seems to go along with everything she says and does lately. So, of course, Josh chimes in, "Disgusting, mommy, disgusting?" Hmmm. He's already walking around saying "Hannah Montana," now we can add "disgusting" on the list of words she is teaching him. I guess the second one advances quicker than the first....what will happen with Logan?!

Dog-Gone Dixie

So, Dixie tried to run away a few weeks ago. It was actually really hilarious! The neighbor girl came to the door to see if Lauren could play. Logan was sleeping, so Brian hushed Dixie quickly. Dixie's feelings get very hurt when Brian even looks at her crossly (any of you who have had experience with a Viszla understand this!). So, Dixie took off away from the front door to pout, or so we thought. She ended up going around the opposite way, through the dining room and hall to come to the front door once again. Only this time she didn't even stop to sniff anyone, she just kept trotting right out the door. Normally, if Dixie is outside leash-less she is wild. She acts like a maniac, sniffing here, peeing there, trying to be everywhere all at once. Not this time! She kept her trotting pace across the sidewalk, down the driveway and into the cul-de-sac, like she was determined to find a new home! Luckily, after about a dozen calls to her she came back in. I was laughing so hard! All she needed was a red handkerchief full of treats tied to the end of a stick and she would've been set!

Dixie getting ice cream on her birthday last May

Lauren's Dinner Prayer

"Thank you for this Jesus food, Amen."

Huh?

I decided that I would make a list of my catch-phrases in our house as of late.

• Stop bugging Dixie.
• Please be nice to your brother.
• Use your listening ears.
• Use nice touches.
• No hitting.
• For crying out loud.
• You're gonna be in big, big trouble.
• If you do _____ again, I will take away your B (blankie).
• If you do _____ again, I will take away your Lightning McQueen.
• No, we are not watching Cars.
• No, we are not watching Mickey Mouse.
• Get your shoes and coats on.
• Put your arms through your arm straps, please.
• Stop hitting your brother.
• Tell him/her how that made you feel.
• Stay in your bed or you will lose your B.
• Go potty.
• Wash your hands.
• Put your socks back on.
• Give him his toy back.
• That is hers.
• Stop chasing Dixie.
• Go downstairs if you want to run and jump.
• Please don't color on the chairs.
• We only color at the table.
• We only eat at the table.
• We do not jump on the couch.
• Come here.
• Sit down.
• WASH YOUR HANDS!!!

So, you get the idea. These are the things that are said MULTIPLE times in a day. This doesn't include the nice things that get said for doing nice things. These are the staples - like bread, milk, and eggs. I really try to be positive, but I get so unbelievably sick and tired of repeating myself!! I love my children very much. I also appreciate the time they are away from me as I can sit in silence and not have anyone saying, "huh?" or "what'd you say, mommy?"