I have had a surge of emotional pregnancy hormones this week. I can finally function without breaking down crying......it's so silly! It started Monday with Oprah.....ugh! I'm not a huge fan of Oprah, but I happened to turn the channel to her show and it was extremely distressing to me. The show was about child abuse and internet child pornography. It sent me into a tailspin realizing all the things in this world I cannot protect my babies from and seeing a glimpse of the evil that is out there. Then I waged this internal battle between wanting to keep this baby inside of me where I can protect it versus wanting this baby out and soon! This only made me more emotional. Tuesday brought little sleep and a very busy day. We had an ultrasound appointment in the late morning, which was reassuring and amazing! The baby looks fantastic and is weighing about 6 1/2 pounds as of right now. I didn't get to see my doctor, though, which bummed me out as I am constantly searching for a "plan" being the planner that I am. Plus the frustration of having to pee every 15 minutes, driving 45 minutes to the doctor's office and feeling famished only brought on more tears. I had to stop at Brian's office on the way home to pee and eat my long overdue lunch. And I couldn't stop the waterworks there, so his assistant and other people in the office probably thought I was a crazy person. I just wanted to eat my Chipotle (yum!), pee AGAIN, and be on my way home. Tuesday evening I broke down and just cried and cried. Brian kept asking me what he could do and there was nothing to do, I just needed to get it out.
I have been hit with an increase in energy yesterday and this morning and our dog Dixie has been acting weird around me, which is what she did when I went into preterm labor. So MAYBE labor is just around the corner. Probably not, but a girl can hope!
So, here's an interesting thing that's been happening in our house. Lauren has not been sleeping very well. She says she's tired all day, but when it comes time to sleep, she just won't. When we tuck her in, she gets up after we are downstairs, opens her door and lays on the floor at the top of the stairs with her blankie until we tell her to go back into her room. Last night I went to check on her before I went to bed and ended up bumping her head with the door as she had fallen asleep on the floor in her room next to her door. We are thinking that maybe she just likes hearing us talk, sort of like lulling her to sleep. I'm sure she senses that big changes are coming and it's probably very comforting to her to be able to hear us talking or watching tv. We have been talking about the baby alot lately and I'm sure she is feeling anxious, excited and a whole bunch of emotions that a 3 year-old just doesn't really know how to process.
The countdown is on! Two weeks - that is when my doctor is likely going to induce me and we will meet this sweet baby! My doctor had told me that we would TENATIVELY look at the first weekend in October because he is on call, but that we would see. As he put it "it's like when I tell my kids that MAYBE we'll do something and then we don't and they say 'BUT YOU SAID!'" I told him I understood and I do, but you can bet that I'm going to the hospital that weekend with my baby bag and I'm not leavin' there until this baby is in my arms and not in my belly!!
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