The Countdown..

Well, the countdown has begun.....I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and I am dialated to 2. Only 8 more to go! I was very surprised because I did not dialate at all with either Lauren or Josh before I was induced. My doctor scheduled me to be induced on October 4th, but maybe I won't make it to then : )


On another note, here is a picture of the "kids" - all three of them! Lauren wanted to take a nap with Dixie on the floor and as soon as I got the camera out, Josh was all "CHEESE"!!

And Dixie is the biggest ham of all - it took every last doggy bone and muscle in her to stay still for just a few seconds and after the picture she was all wiggles!

Hormones, Shmormones

I have had a surge of emotional pregnancy hormones this week. I can finally function without breaking down crying......it's so silly! It started Monday with Oprah.....ugh! I'm not a huge fan of Oprah, but I happened to turn the channel to her show and it was extremely distressing to me. The show was about child abuse and internet child pornography. It sent me into a tailspin realizing all the things in this world I cannot protect my babies from and seeing a glimpse of the evil that is out there. Then I waged this internal battle between wanting to keep this baby inside of me where I can protect it versus wanting this baby out and soon! This only made me more emotional. Tuesday brought little sleep and a very busy day. We had an ultrasound appointment in the late morning, which was reassuring and amazing! The baby looks fantastic and is weighing about 6 1/2 pounds as of right now. I didn't get to see my doctor, though, which bummed me out as I am constantly searching for a "plan" being the planner that I am. Plus the frustration of having to pee every 15 minutes, driving 45 minutes to the doctor's office and feeling famished only brought on more tears. I had to stop at Brian's office on the way home to pee and eat my long overdue lunch. And I couldn't stop the waterworks there, so his assistant and other people in the office probably thought I was a crazy person. I just wanted to eat my Chipotle (yum!), pee AGAIN, and be on my way home. Tuesday evening I broke down and just cried and cried. Brian kept asking me what he could do and there was nothing to do, I just needed to get it out.
I have been hit with an increase in energy yesterday and this morning and our dog Dixie has been acting weird around me, which is what she did when I went into preterm labor. So MAYBE labor is just around the corner. Probably not, but a girl can hope!

So, here's an interesting thing that's been happening in our house. Lauren has not been sleeping very well. She says she's tired all day, but when it comes time to sleep, she just won't. When we tuck her in, she gets up after we are downstairs, opens her door and lays on the floor at the top of the stairs with her blankie until we tell her to go back into her room. Last night I went to check on her before I went to bed and ended up bumping her head with the door as she had fallen asleep on the floor in her room next to her door. We are thinking that maybe she just likes hearing us talk, sort of like lulling her to sleep. I'm sure she senses that big changes are coming and it's probably very comforting to her to be able to hear us talking or watching tv. We have been talking about the baby alot lately and I'm sure she is feeling anxious, excited and a whole bunch of emotions that a 3 year-old just doesn't really know how to process.

The countdown is on! Two weeks - that is when my doctor is likely going to induce me and we will meet this sweet baby! My doctor had told me that we would TENATIVELY look at the first weekend in October because he is on call, but that we would see. As he put it "it's like when I tell my kids that MAYBE we'll do something and then we don't and they say 'BUT YOU SAID!'" I told him I understood and I do, but you can bet that I'm going to the hospital that weekend with my baby bag and I'm not leavin' there until this baby is in my arms and not in my belly!!

A Little Too Early

Well, I guess it is true that every pregnancy is different and every baby is different and same holds true in this baby's case. I had a little bit of preterm labor yesterday! We went to the Defeat of Jesse James Days parade here in Northfield and apparently all the bands, sirens, fake gunshots and cowboy princesses made this baby want to come out in a bad way (probably to tell me to get he or she out of there!) I started having contractions at the parade but wasn't too concerned about them since I've been having them here and there for the last 3-4 weeks. However, when I got home I laid down to rest and they were five minutes apart. Then four minutes apart and getting stronger. They weren't really super strong contractions - definately not the "GET ME MY EPIDURAL NOW" kind, but they were noticeable and more than just the tightening of my uterus. I called my doctor and away to the hospital we went. The 35 minute car ride was filled with contractions that were 2 minutes apart. At the hospital I was monitored and then given two shots of Terbutaline to stop the contractions and it worked! Yay!! I am 35 weeks along now, so it's a little too early for the baby to make his or her grand entrance if it can be helped. So, we'll let the baby bake for a couple more weeks before we go through that again!!!! Hopefully!!!

I was so grateful for the support that I had and so thankful for all the wonderful people I'm surrounded by, especially in a moment of quick action. Brian was so great and although I'm sure he was freaking out a little on the inside he was solid as a rock. He questioned whether we should go to the Northfield hospital instead of Woodwinds up in Woodbury and I told him that we were fine until my water broke and that I really didn't think the baby was coming today. He just stated that he did not want to make his OB debut in our car! Can't blame him there! My parents were up here for the parade and they totally took care of the kids with supper and bedtime, which was such a relief. AND they had to drive home last night after we got home so they could both work this morning - thank you Mom and Dad!! And our neighbors came over just as we were going to leave to say a prayer with us that everything would be alright. That was very special to us and we are so grateful to live next door to such incredibly kind-hearted and caring people. They also had Lauren over for supper last night and she played over at their house for the entire evening. Thanks so much Brenton and Stephanie!

Since I did not go into labor on my own with either Lauren or Josh, this was a brand new experience for both Brian and I. I didn't even have a contraction with Lauren until I was induced!

It is definately true that each baby brings a new adventure!

Our Wisconsin Boy

Our little Joshua is growing so fast! His language has just exploded lately and he's aware of so many things, mainly things his sister either shows him or does herself. He's into numbers right now and holds up two fingers together (his pointer and middle) and waits for acknowledgement that he is counting for us. Lauren is trying her best to teach him one thru five : )

Something else that we discovered about Joshua is that he likes saurkraut!!!! We have been having a lot of brats with saurkraut and I decided to give him a little to try. He inhaled it! This boy has true Wisconsin blood running through him!

And, of course, what would a Saturday afternoon be without Badger football?

Although Josh loves his boy things (trucks, balls, burping, making LOUD noises, dirt, motorcycles, and so on), he had developed a little bit of a fondness for princesses.....

Notice the lovely crown on his beautiful baby boy head in the picture above and the nice "glass slipper" on his foot in the picture on the right! He cracks us up!

So, here is to our sweet Joshy. I hope he knows that no matter how old he gets he will ALWAYS be my "Joshy"!!

Lauren's First Fieldtrip

Our little Lauren left on her first fieldtrip ever today! Her class is at an indoor gym to play and eat lunch as a last hurrah before the official school year gets started. Needless to say it's been an emotional morning for this 8-month pregnant mom. I dropped her and Josh off at school and then realized I forgot my camera. I ran home to get it and got back to school just as the bus was pulling up. I met Lauren's class coming out of her room to board the bus. She was just so excited!

Then, of course, I followed her out to the bus.
And, on the bus.

And then I waited in my car, crying, until the bus pulled away!

I really wanted to go with her! There were other parents going, but the bus ride combined with a whole bunch of 3, 4, and 5 year olds playing in an indoor gym did not sound too appealing for this very pregnant lady. So, I had to 'cut the cord', let my baby girl spread her wings a little and worry myself sick until I know she's safely back! What am I going to do about college? I thought I didn't want my children going to either of the colleges in Northfield, but now both of them are lookin' good!!

Life

Life - noun - the general or universal condition of human existence.

I was reminded again yesterday of the overwhelming desire to fast-forward life to a time that is not so chaotic and irritating.

I had a teeth cleaning scheduled for the early afternoon and my mom graciously came up to watch the kids. My mom arrived and we took the kids upstairs to get them down for their naps. I went to open the bathroom door and it was locked. Lauren had locked the door and then shut it - no one was inside the bathroom. Since Josh is getting his eye teeth and in a whole lot of pain, I really needed to get him some ibuprophen - IN the bathroom! I tried to unlock it by sticking things in the little hole, but nothing was working. So, I had to unscrew the doorknob and take it off. This may not sound like a big deal, and in reality it wasn't. But I was so irritated with her and it didn't help that I was going to be late for my teeth cleaning. Generally I wouldn't care THAT much about being a little late, but when your husband is the dentist, it's a little embarrassing! Plus, it just added one more obstacle in the day. Anyways, the door got opened, the medicine got consumed, the kids got put to bed, and mommy got on her way.

As I was driving I was just so irritated with Lauren. And I felt guilty about this. After all, she is only three. How can she be expected to understand the events that were put into play by simply turning the funny looking switchy-thingy on the doorknob? But my irritation with her and the situation would not go away. I was flipping the channels on the radio and on the country station the song "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Atkins was playing. I have included the lyrics below, but basically the song is about enjoying the time that is now and not trying to "fast-forward" through life. I struggle with this every day. I always think that it will be so much better once the kids are in school. I KNOW this is not the case. It will always be busy and stressful, just in different forms. And then the mommy-guilt kicks in.......what kind of a mother wants to fast-forward through her child's life? There is also a movie that relates directly to this - "Click" starring Adam Sandler, who is dad and an architect who, whenever life gets difficult, he has a magic remote control that he can fast-forward through the difficult times. And, of course, he ends up fast-forwarding through his entire life. So, silly as it may seem, this turned out to be a very significant movie for both Brian and myself. A few months ago when we first saw it we were both in the "hurry up and get on with everything" mode. We do not want to fast-forward through our lives and miss out on Lauren, Josh, and Baby Kraby growing and learning. But it's such a hard balancing act. How is it possible to achieve all your goals and yet be able to enjoy the things around you and have a true appreciation of life? I guess it is all one day at a time......

So, I guess my mommy-mantra of the day is to get out of "the moment" and try and appreciate (notice how I did not say 'enjoy') all the little obstacles in life.

I know that when Lauren is graduating high school I will wish she was three and locking the bathroom door at a really inconvenient time all over again!
___________________________________________________________________

You're Gonna Miss This - by Trace Atkins

She was staring out the window of their SUV
Complaning, saying "I can't wait to turn 18"
She said "I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules"
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said "I was just like you"

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her "It's a nice place"She says "It'll do for now"
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says "Baby, just slow down"

Cause you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
And she keeps apologizin'
He says "They don't bother me. I've got 2 babies of my own. One's 36, one's 23.
Huh, it's hard to believe, but...

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this"

No, I am NOT having twins!

I'm telling you that if one more person asks me if I'm having twins I'm going to lose it! For the record, I am not having twins. Yes, my stomach is huge. I am a short-ish person with a very short torso. There is no where for this baby to grow but out! I got asked by a person yesterday, ONCE AGAIN, if I was having twins. This person has asked me this question several times throughout my pregnancy. When I replied no, she actually asked if I was sure......ughhhh! Yes, there was a time when I thought maybe it was twins - like at 12-20 weeks along. I was SO sick and getting SO big SO fast! Then the 20-week ultrasound revealed that there is only one beautiful baby growing in my tummy. I am now 33 weeks along. I am over the illusion that there might be twins, yet everyone who doesn't know me well, but sees me often questions aloud whether there are multiple babies in my enormous tummy. NO!!!! And stop asking because it's giving me a complex!!!!!

The other thing I REALLY like is when people see me with Lauren and Josh and immediately gasp and say "Oh, you're going to be really busy." Thanks for the update. I know people generally mean well and that their reactions can't be helped in most cases, but come on! I feel the next question, though it has seldom been asked......"were they planned?" Yes, all of my children were planned. But does it really matter if they were planned so closely together or not? I had lunch with a friend of mine yesterday and she and her husband are on the "third baby fence," as she puts it. She is out of the baby mode and has had the sweet taste of freedom that comes with having children that have grown a few years and are able to do independent things, like put on their own coats.........I dream of such a time! So, is it better to wait until the craziness of the baby/toddler years is gone to jump back in the water or just stay submerged in the diapers and the waking up at night? Who knows. Everyone must choose their own path and then just hope and pray that path doesn't lead straight to the nuthouse!

On another note, I took Lauren and Josh to a store to do a little shopping this morning. I rarely take them both shopping because I usually can't concentrate on what I'm doing. But, they were both being exceptionally well-behaved this morning, so I decided to give it a whirl. We all did really good until the end. Lauren had a GIANT meltdown when we were in the checkout lane. I had brought a tape measure with me that she was holding and when she set it down to go arrange candy in the display, I made the mistake of giving it to Josh to keep him occupied. Way to go, MOM!! So, Lauren was literally howling, trying to steal the tape measure back from Josh, who started screaming his falcon squeal at the thought of having something taken by his sister. I must have really looked pathetic because the male clerk looked me in the eye and said, very sincerely, "You're doing a really good job"!! So, we left the store, Lauren STILL howling, Josh STILL squealing, and me feeling about three inches big!

Oh well, I guess we'll just have to try again next time.........