Look-a-likes

I swear I did not dress both of them like this. I dressed Josh. I sent Lauren upstairs telling her she could pick out her own clothes and she came downstairs with her bibs and white shirt saying she wanted to look like Josh!

Mommy's Little Helpers

Lauren and Josh have turned into quite the little helpers. Lauren has always been a good helper or "little mother" as I affectionately call her. This has continued throughout the past few months with the addition of Logan. She loves holding him, playing with him, reading to him....really anything that involves him she wants to be a part of. I find little jobs for her like grabbing burp rags, taking empty bottles to the sink and so on. She eats it up and she craves responsibility. She's 3 1/2. Lately Joshua has also been a little helper. Most times the "jobs" I give him are not followed through with, the exception being taking empty bottles to the sink - he LOVES that job! However, last night the light in the basement playroom was on and I asked Josh to go down and turn it off. AND HE DID IT! It was a total shock to me. I didn't expect him to actually follow through. I expected him to go downstairs, get interested in a toy and then come upstairs to show me the toy all without turning the light off. But he didn't. He went down the stairs, turned the light off and came right back up saying, "we did it, mama, we did it!"
The funniest part is that now Lauren will delegate jobs to Josh. Just yesterday there were two empty bottles by the rocking chair. Lauren asked me if she could feed Logan, to which the answer was no, but she could take the bottles to the sink for me. She said, "yeah, okay," turned to Josh and said, "Joshy, do you want to be a helper?" FUNNY!!!!
I'll also ask her to grab things for me, like pieces of paper or the phone. Well, now she'll ask us or her friends to grab things for her. One of her friends was over the other day and the girls were coloring together. One of the markers was well within Lauren's reach, but she asked her friend to grab it for her! So, if you are at our house and Lauren asks you to get something for her, she's not trying to be lazy but just testing out her "little mother" skills.
I'm thinking about starting a very simple responsibility chart for Lauren with a small reward for her completing the tasks on her chart. I'm not super sure about it and am procrastinating a little. I just don't want to set myself up thinking it's a great idea, have it bomb and then be bummed about the whole thing. I guess it's all just in how I approach it and keeping my expectations very low to begin with. If anyone has any tips or advice, please share!!

c'mon stickers!

"Cars" has been the movie of choice in our house for the past couple of days. Josh is REALLY into Lightning McQueen (Ca-Chow, as he calls him). Anyways, this evening Lauren started calling Josh "Stickers". This is what the girl car (Sally) calls Lightning McQueen in the movie during this certain part where they go on a drive together. So, she has been running around the house calling to Josh, "C'mon Stickers"!!
That's the kind of day I like......siblings playing together, getting along. No toothpaste eating. You know, NORMAL!!

my day so far....

These are the events that have unfolded so far this morning:

• Lauren ate an entire tube of toddler toothpaste.
• Lauren took chapstick and coated the toilet.
• Lauren and Josh found crystal champagne glasses in the basement and decided filling them with water in the basement bathroom would be a good idea. One of the stems of the glasses was broken off.

Hmmm......what will the afternoon bring?

really, really, really....

Right now Josh is in a world of really's. Everything is "really, really, really" something. Usually, big, loud, quiet, little or yummy. But he's so dramatic about it and it cracks me up! He has also started praying before meals on his own. When we pray before meals as a family, he is very quiet. But then all throughout the meal he will fold his hands together and say "for food, Amen." He also said his prayer before his morning cereal yesterday when he was the only one at the table. Cute! His ear infection is improving and he is far less emotional and crabby and back to being the funny boy that he is.

OH!! And I almost forgot!! Josh is now nuk-free! With his ear infection he couldn't suck on his nuk, so he would just hold it. I thought this was a perfect opportunity to do away with the nuk. So, I cut the suck end off of it and told him it was broken. He was satisfied with that answer and now just holds the handle part saying "un-oh, nuker broken." He has no attachment anymore to it, which is great-he was REALLY addicted to it. I think I may miss it more than he does because he is SO loud and the nuk really quieted him down, especially in the early morning hours when mommy isn't ready to get up! Good job Joshy - and you didn't even need a 12-step program.....just mommy with a scissors!

The Path of Least Resistance

I have come to the conclusion that it would so much easier as a parent to follow the path of least resistance with my children. I often feel as though getting them to do anything or follow simple instructions is like "pulling teeth" - do you think so Brian?! I know they are young and maybe my expectations are too high, but in my heart I don't feel that is the case. Whenever a situation presents itself (the proverbial fork in the road), I get a pit in the bottom of my stomach, knowing that the path that is dark and grown over is the right one to take, but once, JUST ONCE I want it to be the path that is clear and lighted.
The newest Lauren-ism right now is lying. She is three, so these lies are little and meant to test limits regarding the truth. She's trying to find out if she'll get caught and what will happen. And it's over things that are quite plainly obvious - like whether she got her arm straps on in her carseat ("yes, mommy, I did" when I can PLAINLY see that she did not) or "did you wipe after going potty?" "yes, mommy" when there is no toilet paper anywhere. Boy, wouldn't it be nice to let it go. But I can't. First, a lie is a lie. Second, she is just like me and if she gets away with it once, it will only get bigger and bigger until she doesn't get away with it and by then it might be something she can't take back. Nope, I need to 'nip this thing in the bud' - as my friend Melissa often says regarding raising her boys. So, after the tears, the foot stomping, door slamming and yelling, all by her and me wanting to search out some serious alcohol as I think what the teenage years will be like, we talk about lying and why it is wrong and why it is important to tell the truth.
This is only one minor instance of the uphill both ways, twelve feet of snow with no boots, jacket, mittens, or hat path of least resistance that parents all around the world take. Of course there are MANY who do not follow this path and go towards the clear, lighted, "whatever makes you happy" path. I bet it FEELS good to take that path - as in feels good at the time. The instant gratification of never upsetting your child and ALWAYS making them happy must be rather intoxicating - you try it once and you want to go back to it again and again? And maybe that's the path that one follows when they have no expectations, no desire to raise productive citizens, no wish to instill proper morals and values. It must be a wonderful world with no stress, no questioning that every single phrase said, discipline taken, consequence given or valuable taken away was the right thing to do. One of my good friends admitted to me that she cries sometimes at night thinking if her words were too harsh or if there were a better way to handle the situation. I do, too. But I think that is what makes us good moms, even though it's hard to reconcile in the moment. The love we have for our children outweighs everything, including the desire to make our kids happy ALL of the time, especially when we know it is not what is best for them. Would my kids love to eat M & M's and watch television all day long? Of course! But it's not what is good for them. So, the TV goes off, the tears turn on, and the first struggle of the day begins.
I know someday my children will be glad that I had expectations of them......it's just waiting for that day to arrive.

A Day of Firsts

We've had a full day already and it's only noon on Monday. Each child in my house has had a "first" today, one good, the others not so good.

• Lauren got reprimanded by her gymnastics teacher this morning for spitting. The spitting is not the first. The reprimand by a teacher is. Her and a little neighbor boy who is in her class were being silly and she started spitting. On the one hand, she is three, she is going to be silly. On the other, bigger, more important hand, spitting is not okay, especially when we are neck deep in germ season.
• Joshua has his first ear infection. BUMMER! He had a high fever at daycare last week, but didn't have it again. He started holding his ear this past weekend, poor guy!
• Logan discovered his hands!!! He is staring at them and trying to grab things!! It's so fun to watch his eyes get really big as he learns about himself and the world around him!!

So, there you have our Monday morning in a nutshell! Hopefully by the end of the day we'll have more positive than negative.....isn't that really the goal everyday?

Happy Anniversary!

Today is our five-year wedding anniversary! Brian and I were married January 10th, 2004. For the last couple of months we have been talking about all the really big life changes that have happened in the last five years. Here is what we have come up with:

• I graduated from law school
• We got Dixie Sue
• Brian started working at Metro Dental
• I passed the bar exam
• I had one of my ovaries removed, which in turn started the kid wheel turning much more quickly than we had anticipated.
• Lauren was born
• I started my own law firm
• We completely renovated our kitchen in our old house (along with various other household projects)
• Josh was born
• We moved to Northfield
• We sold our own house in Cottage Grove
• We bought another house in Northfield for a rental
• We started a real estate company
• We had Logan

There are a LOT of life changes in there! It has been a wild ride and one I couldn't imagine taking with anyone other than Brian.

Brian and I met in our freshman english class at UW-Eau Claire. Our english teacher, Helen Dale, informed the class on the first day that two people in her freshman english classes ALWAYS end up getting married. That's funny now! Back then we thought, "whatever." We noticed each other right away in class. I was attracted to Brian because he wouldn't talk - I thought he was a tough guy. Little did I know it was because he had braces and didn't want to open his mouth! So, I sat down next to him and we became friends. We stayed friends for a year until we started dating. That's right, we started dating sophmore year of college. And, if you are doing any sort of math on this, we dated for EIGHT YEARS before getting married. That's a long time. Brian really wanted to finish dental school before getting engaged and I waited, rather impatiently!! So Brian brought a bag of aluminum cans (my dad's favorite) down to Austin to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. Think of that, I was basically traded for a bag of aluminum. We finally we got engaged in Door County, Wisconsin, set our wedding date for the winter so my dad wouldn't have to take off work (we all know how dedicated he is) and got hitched! It was such a wonderful day. The weather was good, light snow, but thirty degrees. Nice for the second week in January!

We were adament about not wanting to have the wedding taped. We did not want to look back and regret postures, facial expressions, and/or anything else. We just wanted to remember it the way we remembered it in our heads. My very good friend and bridesmaid Emily spent quite a bit of time trying to convince me otherwise. Her husband is a professional photographer (shout out to Dave!! See his work at http://www.davidjturner.com/) and she really wanted him to video the wedding and reception. We reluctantly agreed and I have to tell you that we are so grateful that they both knew better than us! Dave made us a DVD and it is the most wonderful thing. He has scenes from before the wedding, the wedding ceremony, and the reception. There is also a slideshow of all the great photos he took. The best thing about it is there are no moments where we want to hide when we watch it! For the first year of our marriage, we probably watched in a hundred times. Now we watch it for sure on our anniversary, if not more. Last year it was really fun to share with Lauren (Josh was too little to get it). This year I am really looking forward to sharing it with both of them and eventually Logan.

So, to my best friend, my husband, Happy Anniversary! Here's to many more!

Shut Up

Before I became a mother those words had little meaning other than telling people to be quiet in a rude way. I would say them frequently, usually in a joking manner. Now I am a mom and those words feel like swords flying through the air. Last night as I was preparing dinner, Logan was screaming in his crib because he was overtired and would not sleep, Brian was getting frustrated, Lauren was chattering away asking me a million questions insistent on getting an immediate answer and Joshua was loudly wailing because his chair was not pushed in to the precise spot he wanted it. With all of this going on at once I was overwhelmed, frustrated and plain old pissed off. I answered Lauren's questions, probably very shortly. And as Logan had just stopped crying, Brian was coming downstairs and just at that moment I told Joshua to "shut up." I am very embarrassed by this. What kind of a mother tells her own child to shut up? Brian then informed me that he had reprimanded Lauren earlier for saying these exact words (probably to Josh) and then my heart was broken. What have I done? I'll tell you what I have done. I have taught my daughter that saying this is okay. What child wouldn't think it was okay if mommy does it? I have also disrespected my son. Joshua is SO LOUD. He is loud and it is impossible to reason with him, mostly because he is two years old, but I think some of his unreasonableness is just imbedded in his personality. I have taught two year olds - they are fun most of the time! Once Josh gets an idea in his head there is no distraction, no redirection, nothing. He just wails....in the loudest possible voice imaginable. There is a note on the piano and I think it is high C that I cannot stand. It twangs in my ear and literally hurts when it is played. It's my nails on a chalkboard. Joshua's wail is in continuous high C. So I snapped at him with words wielded as swords. Shame on me.
Luckily there is time to undo the damage that was done. I can talk to Lauren about words and how they can hurt or heal. I can apologize to Josh and tell him mommy was wrong. I know that I have not said those awful words to him a lot, but this is not the first time. It doesn't matter, once is too much. Unfortunately my heart won't heal that fast. I worry everyday that the choices I am making as a mother are the right ones. I pray all the time for guidance in raising these children.
So, I guess I will just keep praying and keep doing the best that I can. I am not a perfect parent nor do I need to be. I just need to love my children, forgive myself and move on. Thank you once again, Brenton, for the words that I keep posted on my fridge!

All By Herself

Lauren did her princess puzzle all by herself and she is oh so proud!

Be Strong....

So, it's Logan's first day of daycare today. You'd think it would get easier the more kids you take to daycare, but as I sit here with tears streaming down my face, I have discovered it does not get easier. It is such an internal battle. I KNOW that daycare is good for my kids. It allows them to socialize and to learn. In Logan's case I KNOW it is good for him to be away from me, to be cared for by others, and to be around other babies. This will help him learn to trust. I KNOW this. However, it hurts to know he is away from me. I need to have faith that his caregivers will take good care of him and although I know he's being cared for, no one can love him like his mommy does. But I have professional responsibilities that require my full attention, not just in-between-Logan-time attention. So, here I am working through the first step of letting go with my third child.
I am extremely grateful that Logan was able to be in the daycare room that Josh was in as a baby. There hasn't been a whole lot of turnover, so mostly the same teachers are in his room. This is comforting. They know me, I know them, they will get to know Logan in time. It's still hard, though.

Happy Birthday Joshua!

Joshua's Birthday January 4th, 2007

Joshua's 1st Birthday January 4th, 2008



Joshua in early December - walkin' in daddy's shoes

Our sweet boy is two! Two years ago Joshua Mark Kraby entered this world, loud as can be! He was born on a Thursday evening at 6:04pm and we were blessed. From that point on our world has never been the same and we wouldn't change a thing!

This past year has been a year of tremendous change for Josh. I think that it is amazing how quickly kids learn and change in their first three years of life. Since January 4th of last year he has:

• grown hair
• gotten a lot of teeth
• is talking up a storm
• if figuring out the world around him
• can WALK!
• can jump and run and climb
• can name a few colors and shapes
• drinks water like it's goin' out of style
• expanded his diet to more than garlic toast and Italian sausage
• follows his big sister around everywhere
• shows love and affection to his baby brother
• shows concern for Lauren
• loves to ride in his daddy's truck
• went looking for pheasants with his daddy and Dixie
• travelled to Green Bay....twice!
• is making friends and loves playing with other kids, but at the same time we often find him entertaining himself quietly when all the kids are playing somewhere else.
• fell in love with Mickey Mouse!

All in all you have shown yourself to be a smart, caring, sweet, adventurous loving boy and we couldn't be more proud of you. We are excited to watch you grow! We love you very much Joshy-boy. Happy 2nd Birthday!