Logan-gator

This is Logan! He is so cute right now - totally smiling and cooing all the time. He is a very happy baby and such a heartbreaker! He starts daycare next Tuesday. One minute I'm relieved and glad because I need to be able to concentrate on what I am doing at home with my law firm. On the other hand, I am fighting that motherly urge to hold on. And since I don't know if he is our last baby there is a little part of me that keeps creeping up saying "this could be the last baby you have at home and now you are sending him away". I try to keep that tucked away for only my super emotional freak outs!! He is growing so fast and I know that he is going to out of that infant car seat in no time. And then I will be back to being stuck at home with an infant that can't sit up but can't be in the carryer. I'm sure some ingenius idea will pop into my head and the problem will be solved.....can't keep a cooped up mom with three little ones stuck at home in the winter! I'm sure we'll be investing in a baby backpack or frontpack or something!

In other news, we went to an indoor playground this past weekend in Prior Lake called Playworks. This is the same place that Lauren went on her fieldtrip with the daycare at the end of last summer. It was crazy and I'm glad I didn't know about it before I let her go because I would have been doubly freaked out. The kids had so much fun and it was safe but the climbing structure was SO tall! Since I have no perception when it comes to distance or height I asked Brian and he guestimated it was about 40 feet high (the highest part). This part was a tower of sorts with a big long twisty slide coming down. I watched Brian take Lauren and Josh up to the top (it was a series of "steps" - picture getting out of a car through the car window about 50 times!). He had a funny look on his face and I couldn't tell if he was just getting annoyed because he had to keep hoisting Josh up these 3 foot tall "steps" or what. They came down the slide and all was well. Then Brian sat with Logan and I climbed in the structure to play with the kids. Lauren led me over to these "steps" and the tower. I started going up only because she was way ahead and I was worried about her. I got about 3 "steps" to the top and started to have an internal panic attack! I do not like heights and it turns out I'm a little big closterphobic! I regained control of myself ONLY because Lauren was waiting for me and I couldn't leave my 3 year old up on the top of this thing. I got to the top and was on total autopilot. I don't remember what I said to Lauren, only feeling like I needed to get out of there NOW but the only way out was down the enclosed twisty turny 40 foot high slide - YIKES! I sat down with Lauren on my lap, held on tight and almost crapped my pants on the way down! It went so unbelievably fast! And staticy - I felt like I was going to spontaneously combust!

The kids had so much fun and Brian and I got to watch Lauren help Josh up these "steps," which made us both feel so proud of her. He couldn't quite hoist himselft up so there she was, standing behind him trying to grab his leg and pull him up or push on his bottom to help him up. It was pretty hilarious because he's only a couple of pounds lighter than she is, so there's really no way that she can lift him! She was so encouraging to him, though, saying, "Joshy, you can do it! Come on let's go!" She was trying very hard to show him how to get up there, but he just doesn't have any flexibility what-so-ever! It was heartwarming to watch her care for her little brother.....made us feel as though we are doing something right through all of this!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to you all! I know it is a couple of days late...it's just been so busy around here. We really had a good Christmas. We stayed at our house this year. We decided that with three very small children we did not want to travel and it was important to us that our kids wake up to Santa coming to their own house. But I have to say that it was a bit lonely. Christmas eve really felt like just another day... without all the craziness of running around and the kids all wild. Lauren and Josh were not wild at all and remained pretty calm Christmas Day as well. We missed the five o'clock church service as Lauren and Logan were both sleeping (and there is NO WAY I'm waking either of those two for ANYTHING if it can be helped!) So, we ate some dinner and opened presents and went to church at 9pm. We knew this could get interesting with Josh as he is an 8pm SHARP bedtime kind of guy. But we brought his nuk so he wouldn't be SO loud and gave it a try. Logan slept the entire time. Josh sat on my lap trying to go to sleep but apparently my lap isn't big enough for him to get comfy on anymore. Lauren spent a lot of the time paging through the hymnal and announcing everytime the pastor said the words "Mary", "Joseph" or "Jesus". There were a couple of tense moments when the etch-a-sketch was not being shared and tempers started to rise...with all of us : ) But we made it through the entire service with our three small children. It felt like Christmas! I know this is something that will take some getting used to and we both wish that we lived in the same town as family so that we could be with them and come home to sleep. And who knows....maybe next Christmas we'll be in Cancun! Yeah, right......everyone who has met my husband is laughing at that last phrase right now!

The kids got some really great presents from relatives near and far. They love EVERYTHING! There has been minimal fighting and lots of playing and exploring. It is fabulous! Thank you!

My parents came to our house on Christmas morning for brunch and to give the kids their gifts, which was really great. We enjoyed our brunch and the kids didn't get too wild. That was nice.

Even though it was a little lonely with no extended family around on Christmas eve, it was very relaxing. And it was really good for us to be able to spend that time with the kids without the hustle and bustle that the holdays bring. It was calm, we talked about the birth of baby Jesus a lot and why we celebrate Christmas and really just enjoyed our kids. It was so great to see them on Christmas morning because this was their first year really understanding the whole gift and Santa thing. They were excited, which was super exciting for us!

So, from our family to yours, we hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Josh's Stats

We had Joshua's 2-year check-up earlier this week. He doesn't turn 2 until January 4th, but we got in early. Here are his stats:

Weight: 33.2lbs
Height: 3' 2"

He's a big boy! We knew he was big and pretty much the same size as Lauren, but this just confirmed it! Can anyone say football player? As long as it's for the Packers and not the Vikings, right Brian?!

The Hanson Christmas

Movie time

Kelcey, Karen and Lauren

Uncle Denny, Aunt Dana, Aunt Karen, my dad Smiley

We were down in Austin this past weekend for the Hanson Christmas party. We had a really good time and it was nice to see my aunts, uncles and cousins, and their kids, too! We had super yummy food and then played dirty bingo, as we do every year. This year Lauren was into it, but was a little bit naughty as she sat next to Grandma - she kept trying to open her present before the game was over. Josh just threw a ball all over the room and chased it and Logan ate and slept. A good time was had by all!

SANTA!

Christmas 2008

We went to see Santa today at the Mall of America. My dad really wanted a picture of the kids with Santa, so he agreed to come up and help bring all three kids to the mall to get the picture. The kids did really good, considering their ages and the amount of stimulation at the Mall of America. Josh had a couple of meltdowns and Lauren was aggravating him (and me) just for fun. Logan was pretty easy to please - he's been very sleepy since his shots yesterday. Lauren ran right up to Santa and plopped in his lap. This is a far cry from her first Santa picture two years ago (see below). Josh ran up to Santa, gave him a hug and then ran back to the stroller and sat down! We were able to convince him to sit next to Santa - I think only because Lauren was so into the whole thing! All in all, the outing was a success!

Christmas 2006

14.8!

Logan with Bumpa Smiley this past weekend

We had Logan's two-month check-up this morning and he is 14 pounds, 8 ounces!!! BIG BOY! I don't think that he seems as big as Josh did, and Josh was REALLY big, but Logan is obviously not having any problems in the eating department! He's 2 feet long and looks perfectly healthy, his doctor said! He was all smiles and coos until the shots came......he did okay. He screamed and cried which we expected, but he calmed quickly in mommy's arms afterward. He's fast asleep now, trying to repress the memory of the pain, I'm sure.

Neighborhood Christmas Party

We hosted a neighborhood Christmas party on Saturday night and boy was it fun! It started out as a kids Christmas party, but I think the adults enjoyed it as well - I know I did! We started by having the kids cut out Christmas cookies, baking them and then decorating them. They had a blast! In between, before and after there were foam Christmas trees to decorate with glitter glue and ornament stickers. We ate some dinner - pizza, pineapple, chips, etc. Then watched Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas show and The Polar Express. The adults had some good conversations and munched on all the goodies that everyone brought. The kids were wild, everything was a mess and it was SO loud - it was a perfect party!! It turned out great and I can't wait for next year - I know what changes to make!! Here are some pictures of the kids with the cookies.

Sleep!

Logan has been trying to sleep through the night! We put him down between 10 and 11pm and this morning he woke up to eat at 6:30am!!! YAY!! However, he was up at 3am off and on for about an hour and the nuk saved the day - or night! Do not understand this kid when it comes to noise. On Tuesdays and Thursdays when Lauren and Josh are at daycare, Logan REFUSES to sleep - of course, this is when mommy actually needs to be a lawyer, so it's not so great that he whines and cries the whole day. The second Lauren and Josh come in, Logan is OUT -sleeping like the sweet baby he is. So, obviously he likes the noise to be able to sleep, right? Then WHY is it that when the furnace kicks on in the night to simply blow air into his room, THIS wakes him?! He's a mystery......

This is the conversation I am listening to right now:
L: Shhhhhhh
J: No
L: Shhhhhhh
J: No
L: Shhhhhhh
J: No

You get the idea! It could go on for hours this way...

The Best That I Can....

Frustrated. Tired. Overwhelmed. Defeated. Emotional. Exhausted.

These are some of the words that describe how I feel at this exact moment. I am so tired of disappointing what feels like everyone in the whole world. Right now my life is chaos. It is controlled chaos, but chaos just the same. And none of my clothes fit - that really sucks.

So, to everyone out there with some sort of expectation of me at the moment - I'm doing the best that I can. So...

• I am not going to get the birthday cards out on time. It doesn't mean that I don't remember the birthdays.
• I am not going to get the thank you cards out on time. It doesn't mean that I'm not appreciative.
• I am not going to make the phone calls that I should to check in with those I love. It doesn't mean that I don't want to, just by the time there is a moment to breathe it is 10pm.

I'm doing the best I can. Please be patient with me. Thanks.

Lauren's Discipline Strategy

I overheard Lauren "disciplining" Joshua yesterday and I must say I was cracking up! Josh was sitting on the basement steps and Lauren was standing on a step below facing him. She had her finger a-wavin' at him and was speaking in a very harsh voice. But, ironically, he was laughing....I guess he knew she was pretending with him. Here's what she said:

You in trouble, Joshy.
You be naughty.
I cannot believe you did that.
I so disappointed in you. (which I've said to her maybe twice in her three years)
You not coming to my Izzy's birthday.
That's not okay and that hurt my feelings.
And you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around.
That's what it's all about.

Wouldn't it be nice if disciplining could always end in the hokey pokey?!

Alphabet Song

Joshua's version of the ABC's:

A, B, C,........, F,......
Uh, Uh, J, K, O, O, O, O, P
(silence)..............Z!!!!!!!

Lauren's prayer at dinner the other night:

Dear Jesus,
Thank you for everything beautiful.
Amen.

: )

Time

Logan, you say? Nope, that's Joshua. It is CRAZY how much Josh and Logan look alike at 7 weeks old. They even have the same hair. Dark, losing it on top but still thick around the sides!

Time sure does fly!!! Lauren and Josh in Feb. 2007.

Sledding

Here's Lauren and Josh sledding down the neighbor's driveway. They absolutely loved it! Daddy was pushing them and it was oh, so fun. They each got candy from "Papa" - the next door neighbor's grandpa. He drives around to check on everyone and ALWAYS has candy to give out! Now whenever Josh sees a red car he yells out "PAPA" - kids catch on fast! Thanks Ralph for making my kids smile : )

Big Baby Boy!

Look at that big boy!! Logan is doing really good. He has his crabby moments (don't we all?) but all in all he's a happy, healthy baby boy. GROWING baby boy! Next week he will be two months old and I have no idea where the last two months have gone. It feels like last week that my mom and Brian's mom were here helping us out!

We are working really hard on trying to figure out how to get him to sleep through the night. I really need and cherish my own sleep! He's doing okay. He's up at around 4am - no matter if we put him to sleep at 9pm or midnight. So, now it's just figuring out if he's really hungry or is it the stinkin' furnace that seems to go on FOREVER in the night and make it feel like 100 degrees in the house!

He's already in 3-6 month sized clothes. He's super long and I swear he got longer once I put him in the new size pj's! Like a goldfish that will grow with the size bowl they are in : ) He is starting to smile and now I can tell for sure it's not gas. But he's super serious for the camera! He is most content when someone is right next to him and when someone is holding him. He loves it when Lauren sits on the couch next to his baby gym and holds his hand (she loves it too!).

Logan

He's getting big! He is awake ALOT more, looking around, laying under his baby gym watching that Baby Einstein duck and ladybug taunt him : ) Lauren loves to lay next to him and hold his hand. And Josh has to make sure that he announces when Logan is crying (as if the crying itself wasn't announcement enough!) We still have the mittens or socks on his hands. He has the longest fingers and when those hands go flying his fingers are weapons, no matter if I just finished cutting his nails or not. So, the gloves remain. He looks a lot like Josh did, but he really just looks like Logan : )

Faith

I have been struggling lately with parental guilt. I don't know if it is that I feel Lauren and Josh are not getting enough attention, but I know that what they are getting is not my "A" game. Enter guilt. So it has been a roller coaster of the kids misbehaving (mainly Lauren), my getting angry at them much more quickly (exhaustion) and then the guilt. This started before Logan was born and had continued almost the entire first month of his life. Guilt. Yuck. Then I happened to click on my neighbor Brenton's blog to see what he had to say. This was kind of crazy because I didn't really ever go on Brenton's blog (no offense Brenton!!), just mostly checked in on his wife Stephanie's blog. But I was drawn (or led) to his blog and what an amazing post I found!! Here it is....

There Is Only One Perfect Parent and You are Not Him

Tonight I heard some discussion on the radio about parental guilt. It was centered on the guilt that a parent can feel if their child detours from Christian faith. Now, my kids aren't at a point were I am concerned about them wandering away into Wicca or something else, but I do know about parental guilt. Everyone who has a child does.

The guilt we feel as parents when we get angry too quickly or some other thing comes from a heart of love and concern for our kids. If we didn't feel some level of remorse of guilt at our errors as parents, we wouldn't be good parents. We would be evil parents with no compassion or desire to see our children thrive.

But we must remember, no matter how hard we try we will never be perfect parents. We are human beings, living on this side of heaven in a continual state of depravity. Most succinctly said, we are sinners, as people and as parents. There is only one perfect parent; He is the Father in heaven to all those who are adopted into his family by the blood of his son. And we must remember, that even the children of a perfect parent (us/God), fail from time to time. In fact, we fail often, and God does not feel guilty he feels gracious.

So that is the posture we must take with our own sinning children. Grace - not guilt. Set the guilt aside. The burden to raise children in righteousness is not your own to bear. Do your best, pray a lot, and model yourself after the only perfect parent there is.

I hope he doesn't mind me quoting him, but it was so profound and hit right at the core of my insecurity as a parent (at the moment!) and I really wanted to share it. I have always had faith in God but never really relied on that faith until I got pregnant with Lauren. I remember right when I found out I was pregnant and having a very clear vision of a snowball rolling down a mountain that I couldn't stop. I was so very happy but I also remember feeling a sense of panic. I knew that I couldn't control what would be with this child. Yes, I can control some things, but I couldn't control if the baby would be okay in my womb and that freaked me out. It scared me to love this baby, even as a tiny embryo, and not be able to be the one to make him or her safe and healthy. It was in God's hands and I found myself grasping for some sort of stability to hold onto........my faith. I had to have faith in God that He would take care of everything. I also found comfort in other's faith. When we told Brian's parents that we were expecting the first time, Brian's dad put his hand on Brian's shoulder and said, "Everything is going to be okay." It still brings tears to my eyes thinking about that because when I would get extra scared about the baby's health or well-being inside of me, I would ask Brian to repeat what Larry had said and that, those six words, brought and unbelievable level of peace to me.

And then Lauren was born beautiful and healthy!! And a whole new level of fear overwhelmed me. I knew I could not protect her from all in this world and as her parent, her mother, I felt an overwhelming need to protect and shield her from all that could potentially harm her. But that is an impossible task, so once again I had to rely on God to protect her and to give me strength to trust that He would take care of everything. The same thing happened with both Joshua and Logan.

This journey of faith still continues today. Everytime I let Lauren out of my sight, on her first fieldtrip, everytime I take Lauren and Josh to school, letting them play outside or anytime they are away from me, I start to panic just a little and then ask God to protect them and give me strength to trust all will be okay.

However, lately it has been that the problem has been me! My exhaustion, my inability to have any patience with Lauren's sassy attitude, my irritation with Josh's LOUD voice. Enter guilt. So, this post by Brenton gave me direction on where to go with my guilt and permission to forgive myself for not being a perfect parent, just keep trying. I have his post hanging on my refrigerator and read it daily. It's in a perfect spot because mealtimes are the craziest and as I'm going into the fridge, I glance at it, remember to take a deep breath and pray for patience. It has really helped me get through the last couple of weeks. I'm sure that when he wrote it he didn't bank on it being this profound in his neighbor's life, but yet here we are!

Those who know me well know that I do not talk openly about my faith or beliefs. Just never have, not because I don't feel strongly about it or because I am ashamed or anything like that. I think it's mostly because I don't want to be judged by anyone here on earth regarding something so personal. So I keep it close to my heart. But I felt that Brenton's post could potentially have the same positive effect on other parents as it did on me.

I also am not a believer in luck or that things happen by accident. I feel that things happen for a reason and that we are compelled to do things, say things, be who we are based not upon some sort of freak happenstance, but because that is where we are meant to be. Brenton blogged about this particular subject and I was led to read it by no mere act of fate. I know it was God's hand and I am thankful that I can let go (a little!!) and have faith that all will be okay, that I will
make it through and that my children will not have to spend the rest of their lives in therapy! Hopefully!!!

First Snow

We live in such a great neighborhood : )

Halloween

Okay, I know I'm a little late on the costume post. What can I say other than NEWBORN! Anyways, we had a great Halloween. We carved pumpkins that afternoon which was fun for everyone. Lauren decided that she did not want to trick or treat but wanted to hand candy out instead and believe it or not, we were okay with that! The first people at our door were St. Olaf college students collecting food shelf donations. However, Lauren opened the door, took a handful of candy and totally threw it at them and tried to shut the door!! So we had to talk about what it meant to "hand" out candy! Thankfully it was college students and not some poor kid on his first trick or treating excursion. She could have scarred him for life!

I a mom...

This has been the argument in our house for quite a while between Joshua and Lauren. When they play "kitchen" Lauren always starts out by saying "I a mom." She repeats it with such tenacity that Josh automatically becomes her challenger saying, "I mom." This infuriates Lauren as she believes she IS the mom (literally) and causes her to argue with him and this is how the conversation goes:

L: I a mom

J: I mom (in his deep voice)

L: NOOOOO, I a mom. You not a mom.

J: I mom (repeat deep voice)

L: NOOOOOOOOOO. I a mom and you not a mom. You a sister.
J: I mom (see previous)

L: Mama, Joshy said he a mom, but he not a mom. You a mom and I a mom.

And so on.....I hope to be able to repeat this to both of them when they are in high school, especially to Josh : )

We managed to make it to the pumpkin patch a couple of weeks ago. We picked out our pumpkins and then we went to the apple orchard and got some apples. We're going to carve our pumpkins tonight - just in time for Halloween!

Here is the family update for week 4 of being a family of 5 :

LOGAN - is doing great. He is sleeping in his own crib, waking about once a night depending on whether he is going through one of his 24-48 hour feeding binges. During these feeding binges this little guy will eat every 2-3 hours and will drink 4-5 ounces at a time. Sometimes he can only make it an hour. We try to hold him off, but he gets, as Brian says 'mad as a hornet.' But then he will sleep for 5-6 hours at a time for the next couple of days. He is growing and changing. He is fascinated with the ceiling fan in our family room. He could stare at it for hours, I think, as long as someone is holding him! He is still a cuddle-bug : )

JOSH - is good. It was my birthday on Tuesday and as a present, Josh went potty in the potty at school that day!! YAY!!! Big step forward for him. Still holding back on starting the potty-training at home, though, as mommy just doesn't have the energy for that battle at the moment! Josh is going to be a bumblebee for Halloween, so that should be fun!

LAUREN - is good, too. She continues to challenge me in every way and the whole "I a mom" concept has leaked over into how she interacts with me. She thinks she's the boss.....we had to have a little chat about that earlier this week. Did anyone take my 3-year-old manual?! I cannot find it anywhere and I need to look up how do handle a back-talking, little smarty-pants. No manual? Then could SOMEONE, ANYONE please just tell me that it's going to get better? Because right now, boarding schools are looking like a genius idea : ) Okay, it's not that bad, but she sure knows which buttons to push. And I have a feeling that I was just like her when I was three. Sorry, mom! I guess what they say about payback is true. If only I would've known that when I was three, I would've behaved better......... hindsight. Lauren started gymnastics class which she seems to like. And she's going to be a witch for Halloween, although she said she wants to stay and pass out the candy instead of going out to get candy (hence the "I a mom" thing). She is being a good helper with Logan and with Josh and is getting smarter and smarter everyday.

Brian and I are doing good. Brian and Dixie got their first pheasant of the season, which was exciting! I'm trying to get back into working and learning to juggle all of the kids, the house, the businesses and life. Oh, and trying to catch a nap here and there. My earth-shattering question of the day? WHY when there are two Nickelodeon channels do BOTH of them have to show what seems like a marathon of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in the middle of the night, every night? This makes no sense to me and is just plain wrong. Whatever happened to Mr. Ed and Car 54 Where Are You?? At least throw in some Who's the Boss, Growing Pains or Cosby Show. There's only so much Will Smith pre-Jada, pre-Independence Day silliness one person can take. And although that Carlton can sure dance, that's just not as entertaining as it used to be......

The "cleaning" of the first pheasant with Josh supervising...

Our annual family pumpkin patch picture. Someday I will put all the pictures up on here so you can all see, in pictures, the rapid growth of our family in the last 4 years!!!!

Jesus' Coins

I took Lauren to Sunday school yesterday and before we left we put three quarters in her offering envelope. We talked about how these are Jesus' coins and she has to give them in the offering in her Sunday school class. When I went to pick her up from her class, she had the coins in her hand but no envelope. I asked her why she had the coins and she told me those were HER coins. I told her that they were Jesus' coins and she had other coins at home and that she needed to put the coins in the offering basket. We went back into her Sunday school room and two of her teachers told me how they tried to get her to leave the coins and that she had no problem leaving the envelope in the offering basket! She put the coins in the basket and as we were getting into the car she looked me square in the eye and said, "But Mommy, I love Jesus' coins." : )

One Week Later......

Here is sweet boy Logan! He is such a good baby boy. He sleeps so soundly, wakes to be fed, could usually care less about his diapers and doesn't flinch at all when the screaming/fighting/playing of his sister and brother start or the barking of the dog. He has his awake times when he is busy exploring his world and loves to cuddle (especially with his mommy).

As for the rest of the family, here is the update:

LAUREN is having a little bit of a hard time adjusting. She absolutely adores Logan and wants to feed him, hold him, lay with him, and cuddle him. At the same time she is extra defiant, rude, wild, overly-silly and just plain naughty. I think that she is confused about Logan's arrival and about how her life has and will change. But I also think that she is vying for attention from visitors and the grandparents that we have been so lucky to have help us out. I know she'll be fine once we find our groove, but it will be challenging until then. Our neighbors have been so fantastic about taking Lauren over to play and last week she even got to go to the grocery store and to Wednesday night Sunday School with her favorite friends!

JOSH has really no idea what's going on. He acknowledges baby Logan and gives him attention, but really, he's just in his own toddler world. That's what is so great about having them close together - they really have no idea! Lauren was the same way when we brought Josh home. So, Josh is just Josh. He looks for Logan whenever he has not paid attention to him for a while, but give him some Mickey Mouse and a Matchbox car and he is good to go!

DIXIE SUE is crazy. Seriously. She has an attachment to Logan that we do not understand. She searches for him all over and gets very wild if she cannot find him. I took Logan outside on one of the warmer days this week for some fresh air and Dixie was right on my heels looking at me as if I were stealing from her! Then I came inside while my neighbor was holding Logan and Dixie ran from Logan's changing table to his swing to his car seat frantically looking for him - it was crazy! She's very protective of him. She was not this crazy with either of the other two kids.

As for MOM AND DAD, we are doing good. We feel overwhelmed at times as to what the future may hold, but we are trying to take it one day at a time and enjoy being in the moment with our beautiful children. And now to answer the question that we have been asked several times in the last week - when's the next one coming? The answer is we do not know. We wanted to have four children, but three kids in three year, two months is a lot to handle. We do not know if we will make it to four, but we are keeping our options open. Like I said, we are living in the moment for right now.

We so appreciate all of your congrats and well-wishes! Thank you to all for your kind thoughts. I will keep you updated as our sweet new boy grows along with our other two "babies" who look like giants now!

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!

On Saturday October 4th, 2008 at 12:24 p.m. we welcomed Logan Nicholas Kraby into the world! He is a beautiful baby boy and we are so proud! He is doing very well, eating and sleeping like a champ - just not when we want him to.

He surprised us in many ways, but mainly because we had been thinking he was a she for quite a while. We chose not to find out the gender of any of our babies because we think it is really fun to guess and we really thought I was acting more like I did when I was pregnant with Lauren, so were assuming that the baby would probably be a girl. WRONG!!

The second way he surprised us was with his quick arrival. I was scheduled to be induced on Saturday and went in on Friday night for some preliminary preparations. This would up throwing me into early labor with contractions every 2-4 minutes apart consistently. I was up all night with contractions, got back to the hospital around 8am, and BEGGED for an epidural around 10am. My nurse checked me at 11:55 am and I was dialated to 4 cm, so my nurse and Brian both went to grab some lunch. At 12:10 pm, I asked for a nurse to come to my room because I was feeling SO uncomfortable. That nurse checked me and I was completely dialated and ready to deliver. My husband, bless his heart, was at Subway across the street and hurried back, making a scene dropping all his stuff at the counter! One push and Logan Nicholas was born!

We are all recovering nicely and glad to be home. Lauren, otherwise known as "little mother," is in LOVE with her new brother. Josh has started this stomping thing where he stomps around the room and points at Logan saying "baby Logan." It's cute - we're just not sure what it means! All in all it is going to take some time to adjust to this new family of ours, being outnumbered and all. Thankfully, my mom is here this week and Brian's mom will be here next week to give us some help!

On a very different and sad note, I would like to ask for some prayers for the loved ones of a great man who passed away yesterday morning. My godfather, John Krull, has been fighting leukemia for quite a number of years and was recently diagnosed with lung cancer and unfortunately lost his battle with both. He will be greatly missed by his family and friends. It is very hard for my parents, especially my dad, to experience the ultimate high of the birth of their grandson, and the death of a truly great friend all within 24 hours....... please keep them and John's family in your thoughts.

The Countdown..

Well, the countdown has begun.....I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and I am dialated to 2. Only 8 more to go! I was very surprised because I did not dialate at all with either Lauren or Josh before I was induced. My doctor scheduled me to be induced on October 4th, but maybe I won't make it to then : )


On another note, here is a picture of the "kids" - all three of them! Lauren wanted to take a nap with Dixie on the floor and as soon as I got the camera out, Josh was all "CHEESE"!!

And Dixie is the biggest ham of all - it took every last doggy bone and muscle in her to stay still for just a few seconds and after the picture she was all wiggles!

Hormones, Shmormones

I have had a surge of emotional pregnancy hormones this week. I can finally function without breaking down crying......it's so silly! It started Monday with Oprah.....ugh! I'm not a huge fan of Oprah, but I happened to turn the channel to her show and it was extremely distressing to me. The show was about child abuse and internet child pornography. It sent me into a tailspin realizing all the things in this world I cannot protect my babies from and seeing a glimpse of the evil that is out there. Then I waged this internal battle between wanting to keep this baby inside of me where I can protect it versus wanting this baby out and soon! This only made me more emotional. Tuesday brought little sleep and a very busy day. We had an ultrasound appointment in the late morning, which was reassuring and amazing! The baby looks fantastic and is weighing about 6 1/2 pounds as of right now. I didn't get to see my doctor, though, which bummed me out as I am constantly searching for a "plan" being the planner that I am. Plus the frustration of having to pee every 15 minutes, driving 45 minutes to the doctor's office and feeling famished only brought on more tears. I had to stop at Brian's office on the way home to pee and eat my long overdue lunch. And I couldn't stop the waterworks there, so his assistant and other people in the office probably thought I was a crazy person. I just wanted to eat my Chipotle (yum!), pee AGAIN, and be on my way home. Tuesday evening I broke down and just cried and cried. Brian kept asking me what he could do and there was nothing to do, I just needed to get it out.
I have been hit with an increase in energy yesterday and this morning and our dog Dixie has been acting weird around me, which is what she did when I went into preterm labor. So MAYBE labor is just around the corner. Probably not, but a girl can hope!

So, here's an interesting thing that's been happening in our house. Lauren has not been sleeping very well. She says she's tired all day, but when it comes time to sleep, she just won't. When we tuck her in, she gets up after we are downstairs, opens her door and lays on the floor at the top of the stairs with her blankie until we tell her to go back into her room. Last night I went to check on her before I went to bed and ended up bumping her head with the door as she had fallen asleep on the floor in her room next to her door. We are thinking that maybe she just likes hearing us talk, sort of like lulling her to sleep. I'm sure she senses that big changes are coming and it's probably very comforting to her to be able to hear us talking or watching tv. We have been talking about the baby alot lately and I'm sure she is feeling anxious, excited and a whole bunch of emotions that a 3 year-old just doesn't really know how to process.

The countdown is on! Two weeks - that is when my doctor is likely going to induce me and we will meet this sweet baby! My doctor had told me that we would TENATIVELY look at the first weekend in October because he is on call, but that we would see. As he put it "it's like when I tell my kids that MAYBE we'll do something and then we don't and they say 'BUT YOU SAID!'" I told him I understood and I do, but you can bet that I'm going to the hospital that weekend with my baby bag and I'm not leavin' there until this baby is in my arms and not in my belly!!

A Little Too Early

Well, I guess it is true that every pregnancy is different and every baby is different and same holds true in this baby's case. I had a little bit of preterm labor yesterday! We went to the Defeat of Jesse James Days parade here in Northfield and apparently all the bands, sirens, fake gunshots and cowboy princesses made this baby want to come out in a bad way (probably to tell me to get he or she out of there!) I started having contractions at the parade but wasn't too concerned about them since I've been having them here and there for the last 3-4 weeks. However, when I got home I laid down to rest and they were five minutes apart. Then four minutes apart and getting stronger. They weren't really super strong contractions - definately not the "GET ME MY EPIDURAL NOW" kind, but they were noticeable and more than just the tightening of my uterus. I called my doctor and away to the hospital we went. The 35 minute car ride was filled with contractions that were 2 minutes apart. At the hospital I was monitored and then given two shots of Terbutaline to stop the contractions and it worked! Yay!! I am 35 weeks along now, so it's a little too early for the baby to make his or her grand entrance if it can be helped. So, we'll let the baby bake for a couple more weeks before we go through that again!!!! Hopefully!!!

I was so grateful for the support that I had and so thankful for all the wonderful people I'm surrounded by, especially in a moment of quick action. Brian was so great and although I'm sure he was freaking out a little on the inside he was solid as a rock. He questioned whether we should go to the Northfield hospital instead of Woodwinds up in Woodbury and I told him that we were fine until my water broke and that I really didn't think the baby was coming today. He just stated that he did not want to make his OB debut in our car! Can't blame him there! My parents were up here for the parade and they totally took care of the kids with supper and bedtime, which was such a relief. AND they had to drive home last night after we got home so they could both work this morning - thank you Mom and Dad!! And our neighbors came over just as we were going to leave to say a prayer with us that everything would be alright. That was very special to us and we are so grateful to live next door to such incredibly kind-hearted and caring people. They also had Lauren over for supper last night and she played over at their house for the entire evening. Thanks so much Brenton and Stephanie!

Since I did not go into labor on my own with either Lauren or Josh, this was a brand new experience for both Brian and I. I didn't even have a contraction with Lauren until I was induced!

It is definately true that each baby brings a new adventure!

Our Wisconsin Boy

Our little Joshua is growing so fast! His language has just exploded lately and he's aware of so many things, mainly things his sister either shows him or does herself. He's into numbers right now and holds up two fingers together (his pointer and middle) and waits for acknowledgement that he is counting for us. Lauren is trying her best to teach him one thru five : )

Something else that we discovered about Joshua is that he likes saurkraut!!!! We have been having a lot of brats with saurkraut and I decided to give him a little to try. He inhaled it! This boy has true Wisconsin blood running through him!

And, of course, what would a Saturday afternoon be without Badger football?

Although Josh loves his boy things (trucks, balls, burping, making LOUD noises, dirt, motorcycles, and so on), he had developed a little bit of a fondness for princesses.....

Notice the lovely crown on his beautiful baby boy head in the picture above and the nice "glass slipper" on his foot in the picture on the right! He cracks us up!

So, here is to our sweet Joshy. I hope he knows that no matter how old he gets he will ALWAYS be my "Joshy"!!

Lauren's First Fieldtrip

Our little Lauren left on her first fieldtrip ever today! Her class is at an indoor gym to play and eat lunch as a last hurrah before the official school year gets started. Needless to say it's been an emotional morning for this 8-month pregnant mom. I dropped her and Josh off at school and then realized I forgot my camera. I ran home to get it and got back to school just as the bus was pulling up. I met Lauren's class coming out of her room to board the bus. She was just so excited!

Then, of course, I followed her out to the bus.
And, on the bus.

And then I waited in my car, crying, until the bus pulled away!

I really wanted to go with her! There were other parents going, but the bus ride combined with a whole bunch of 3, 4, and 5 year olds playing in an indoor gym did not sound too appealing for this very pregnant lady. So, I had to 'cut the cord', let my baby girl spread her wings a little and worry myself sick until I know she's safely back! What am I going to do about college? I thought I didn't want my children going to either of the colleges in Northfield, but now both of them are lookin' good!!

Life

Life - noun - the general or universal condition of human existence.

I was reminded again yesterday of the overwhelming desire to fast-forward life to a time that is not so chaotic and irritating.

I had a teeth cleaning scheduled for the early afternoon and my mom graciously came up to watch the kids. My mom arrived and we took the kids upstairs to get them down for their naps. I went to open the bathroom door and it was locked. Lauren had locked the door and then shut it - no one was inside the bathroom. Since Josh is getting his eye teeth and in a whole lot of pain, I really needed to get him some ibuprophen - IN the bathroom! I tried to unlock it by sticking things in the little hole, but nothing was working. So, I had to unscrew the doorknob and take it off. This may not sound like a big deal, and in reality it wasn't. But I was so irritated with her and it didn't help that I was going to be late for my teeth cleaning. Generally I wouldn't care THAT much about being a little late, but when your husband is the dentist, it's a little embarrassing! Plus, it just added one more obstacle in the day. Anyways, the door got opened, the medicine got consumed, the kids got put to bed, and mommy got on her way.

As I was driving I was just so irritated with Lauren. And I felt guilty about this. After all, she is only three. How can she be expected to understand the events that were put into play by simply turning the funny looking switchy-thingy on the doorknob? But my irritation with her and the situation would not go away. I was flipping the channels on the radio and on the country station the song "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Atkins was playing. I have included the lyrics below, but basically the song is about enjoying the time that is now and not trying to "fast-forward" through life. I struggle with this every day. I always think that it will be so much better once the kids are in school. I KNOW this is not the case. It will always be busy and stressful, just in different forms. And then the mommy-guilt kicks in.......what kind of a mother wants to fast-forward through her child's life? There is also a movie that relates directly to this - "Click" starring Adam Sandler, who is dad and an architect who, whenever life gets difficult, he has a magic remote control that he can fast-forward through the difficult times. And, of course, he ends up fast-forwarding through his entire life. So, silly as it may seem, this turned out to be a very significant movie for both Brian and myself. A few months ago when we first saw it we were both in the "hurry up and get on with everything" mode. We do not want to fast-forward through our lives and miss out on Lauren, Josh, and Baby Kraby growing and learning. But it's such a hard balancing act. How is it possible to achieve all your goals and yet be able to enjoy the things around you and have a true appreciation of life? I guess it is all one day at a time......

So, I guess my mommy-mantra of the day is to get out of "the moment" and try and appreciate (notice how I did not say 'enjoy') all the little obstacles in life.

I know that when Lauren is graduating high school I will wish she was three and locking the bathroom door at a really inconvenient time all over again!
___________________________________________________________________

You're Gonna Miss This - by Trace Atkins

She was staring out the window of their SUV
Complaning, saying "I can't wait to turn 18"
She said "I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules"
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said "I was just like you"

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her "It's a nice place"She says "It'll do for now"
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says "Baby, just slow down"

Cause you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
And she keeps apologizin'
He says "They don't bother me. I've got 2 babies of my own. One's 36, one's 23.
Huh, it's hard to believe, but...

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this"

No, I am NOT having twins!

I'm telling you that if one more person asks me if I'm having twins I'm going to lose it! For the record, I am not having twins. Yes, my stomach is huge. I am a short-ish person with a very short torso. There is no where for this baby to grow but out! I got asked by a person yesterday, ONCE AGAIN, if I was having twins. This person has asked me this question several times throughout my pregnancy. When I replied no, she actually asked if I was sure......ughhhh! Yes, there was a time when I thought maybe it was twins - like at 12-20 weeks along. I was SO sick and getting SO big SO fast! Then the 20-week ultrasound revealed that there is only one beautiful baby growing in my tummy. I am now 33 weeks along. I am over the illusion that there might be twins, yet everyone who doesn't know me well, but sees me often questions aloud whether there are multiple babies in my enormous tummy. NO!!!! And stop asking because it's giving me a complex!!!!!

The other thing I REALLY like is when people see me with Lauren and Josh and immediately gasp and say "Oh, you're going to be really busy." Thanks for the update. I know people generally mean well and that their reactions can't be helped in most cases, but come on! I feel the next question, though it has seldom been asked......"were they planned?" Yes, all of my children were planned. But does it really matter if they were planned so closely together or not? I had lunch with a friend of mine yesterday and she and her husband are on the "third baby fence," as she puts it. She is out of the baby mode and has had the sweet taste of freedom that comes with having children that have grown a few years and are able to do independent things, like put on their own coats.........I dream of such a time! So, is it better to wait until the craziness of the baby/toddler years is gone to jump back in the water or just stay submerged in the diapers and the waking up at night? Who knows. Everyone must choose their own path and then just hope and pray that path doesn't lead straight to the nuthouse!

On another note, I took Lauren and Josh to a store to do a little shopping this morning. I rarely take them both shopping because I usually can't concentrate on what I'm doing. But, they were both being exceptionally well-behaved this morning, so I decided to give it a whirl. We all did really good until the end. Lauren had a GIANT meltdown when we were in the checkout lane. I had brought a tape measure with me that she was holding and when she set it down to go arrange candy in the display, I made the mistake of giving it to Josh to keep him occupied. Way to go, MOM!! So, Lauren was literally howling, trying to steal the tape measure back from Josh, who started screaming his falcon squeal at the thought of having something taken by his sister. I must have really looked pathetic because the male clerk looked me in the eye and said, very sincerely, "You're doing a really good job"!! So, we left the store, Lauren STILL howling, Josh STILL squealing, and me feeling about three inches big!

Oh well, I guess we'll just have to try again next time.........

Lauren is 3!!

Lauren turned three at the end of July and we had a really great party! She had so much fun and is STILL singing Happy Birthday to herself. It was so great to see everyone that was able to make it. I just wanted to share some of the pictures from her day. We rented the bouncy castle as a huge energy burner for all the kids and it seemed to work. Her birthday party was on a Saturday and on Sunday the whole neighborhood got together to roast smores and the bouncy castle was definately a huge hit!

Lauren is very excited that she is three. She's very into numbers and how many is this or that and so to hold up three fingers and say "I'm three" with such authority and excitement is fun to see. She tells me that it's very fun to be three - there's just so much going on! School friends, neighborhood friends, toys, playing, imagination, letters, numbers, Barbies, princesses, the list goes on and on! There does not seem to be enough time in the day to get it all done.....

P.S. Notice on the picture of Lauren that the NFL Network is on the background. Daddy got busted trying to catch the latest Brett Favre updates DURING the birthday party. I guess you can take the Daddy out of the Packer fan, but can't take the Packer fan out of the Daddy - not even on his little girl's birthday. And NOW, thanks to Mr. Favre, we not only have to endure another season of Packer football, with the tantrums and such that go along with that, we ALSO have to watch the Jets. Thanks, Brett........

Newbie....

Okay, so I'm totally new in this whole blogging world. I thought it would be a neat idea to create a blog so that family and friends could check in when time/life permitted to see what we were up to. Lauren and Josh are growing so fast and with Baby Kraby #3 on the way QUICKLY, and my free time for much cherished phone conversations disappearing, this seemed like the perfect thing to do! I also feel bad that Brian's family is so far away and they all get to enjoy each other but don't really know what's going on with us. We have not been down to Milwaukee in a really long time, but have gotten together with everyone in Green Bay this past spring and early summer. Anyways, check in, don't check in, tell me I'm lame, whatever....... I'll just keep doin' what I'm doin'!