You Win Some, You Lose Some....

Lauren and Josh are playing their first season of in-house league soccer this summer.  For those of you well out of the children's sports world, this means they don't travel to other towns, they play other teams from Northfield.  I received an email from the head of the Northfield Soccer Association which addressed sportsmanship and having fun in the league.  The email also included what to do if your team is winning by a lot during any given game and included this message, verbatim: 

So, here are a few tips for slowing down your team if they're bowling the other team over.

1. Make them come all the way back and touch their own goal until the ball is released onto the field.

2. Release the ball so the other team has the advantage.

3. Re strict who can score on your team (only Jamie can score).

4. Everyone on your team must touch the ball before you can score.

5. Can only pass and/or shoot with the non-dominant foot.

6. Parents - stop telling your kids (if they're on the dominant team) to "go get the ball". Let the other team get a feel for the game. Clap when they score, but don't egg them on.

I'm not saying "throw the game" .....just slow your kids down

As a parent, I am extremely unhappy with the message this is sending to my kids.  Aren't kids supposed to try and be the best?  Aren't they supposed to strive to win?  Isn't the point of youth sports to teach competition along with good sportsmanship - winning and losing?  Aren't these items good for practices?  Why should they be implemented in games? 

One of the reasons I choose to enroll my kids in sports because I know they need exercise, but they don't need organized sports to do this.  They spend plenty of time playing tag (everywhere we go!), running to get whatever, and kickball is the staple game in our cul-de-sac.  I'm not really worried that my kids aren't getting enough exercise. 

However, teaching kids about comptetition is an important part of life that gets circumvented because people in general want to make sure everyone feels included and no one feels bad.  I disagree with this.  Competition is important.  When these kids grow up and compete for jobs, the employer is not going to give the job to all the applicants because that way no one feels bad.  What is also important for kids to learn is how to win and how to lose.  Kids need to actually learn this - it doesn't come naturally.  It's important for kids to understand that not everything is fair, not everything makes you feel good, and if you want something, you need to work hard to get it. 

We set this "everyone is a winner" standard and wonder why kids aren't ambitious and have no drive.  When the label of "winner" is automatically handed over without any effort, when would kids ever learn that this is not the case in adulthood?  As teenagers and adults, these kids are emotionally paralyzed because they fear failure.  And why wouldn't they, they've never experienced it and learned to deal with the emotions to go along with it.  Or they just simply expect everything to be handed to them. 

There is something to be said for learning to win and lose graciously.  Again, this does not come naturally.  A kid's first reaction when they win is to point out that the other person lost.  Kids must learn to celebrate their accomplishments without belittling the other person/team.  Kids must learn to learn from their shortcomings when they lose.  It's a part of life that cannot be sugar-coated or skipped over because it's everywhere.  Yes, it hurts us as parents to see our children disappointed or sad because they lost the game.  Acknowledging their feelings and helping them work through these emotions is much more helpful longterm to children than brushing them under a rug or blaming the other team because we don't like to see our kids hurting.
I sincerely hope that my kids always play their best, no matter what and that they learn how to win just as graciously as they lose.  But mostly, I hope they learn that the majority of situations there are winners and losers.  Sometimes they'll be on the winning side and sometimes the losing side.  But what's important is that when they win, they learn what they did to get there and when they lose, they learn what they did to get there.  Life is all about learning.....about themselves and about others.

pool day!

What a great day at the pool!!!  I was so very nervous about taking all four kids to the pool.  The last time I took them to a pool by myself I was fortunate that it was at a friend's house because Joshua had an accident (and not the pleasant kind) and Logan has some sort of allergic reaction to something and was all boogery.  And honestly, I didn't know what I would do with Emma while I was dealing with those two and their out of control bodily functions. 

I really wanted to go to the pool and asked my wonderful neighbor, Stephanie, if she would want to go.  She did (lucky me!) and off we went.  She and her three kids and me and my four - what a crew! 

It went really good!

Three things work in my favor this summer: 

1.  Lauren and Josh know how to swim.  They aren't strong swimmers, but they know how to get to the edge of the pool. 

2.  Logan won't go in the big pool.  Yay for the baby pool!!!

3.  Emma's an awesome baby. 

I felt empowered.  This is a big deal.  Many times I feel stuck because of Emma's feeding/nap schedule and Logan's three year old fireyness.  So this was amazing!!  I know every time won't be this good, but for planning on going for and hour and a half and staying for four hours, I'd say it's a win!!!

tattling vs. reporting

Now that the "honeymoon" of being out of school is over, I have to say that I am so fed-up with tattling.  My neighbor has this sign on her wall in her kitchen and I love it!  Of course hers is much prettier and way more colorful.  I got this picture off of Pinterest.  It's on my list - you know, the list of things to do that you feel good once you cross off, but the list never, ever, ever gets completed?  Yeah, that list. 

The other thing I'm working on with my kids is not to interrupt conversations.  Unless there is an emergency (bleeding, bone sticking out of skin, fire, etc.).  Of course, every single thing that happens in a 6, 5, and 3 year olds world is an emergency, so we're still sorting that one out. 

The joys of parenting : ) 

But I wouldn't trade it for the world! 

organize!

This is my project for this summer - new mudroom lockers for my mudroom/laundry room.  It is a project that will probably take all summer and into the fall, being that there isn't a lot of spare time on my hands.  I have a set of cubbies in there now, but they are too small.  My goal this summer is trying to find ways to keep my life organized because when fall comes and I have a second grader, kindergartener, preschooler and sweet, sweet baby girl, I know that I will need all the help I can get!  Plus, I am hoping to get an office actually outside of my home (gasp!!), which will make my work much more efficient. 

So, wish me luck and feel free to lend any advice my way!! 

R~H~U~B~A~R~B

I have a lot of rhubarb.  We joined a CSA (community shared agriculture) this summer.  We are so happy and I love trying new produce and coming up with new ideas for produce I'm familiar with.  One of those is rhubarb.  Now, I can make a mean strawberry-rhubarb crisp and have a fantastic recipe from my neighbor for rhubarb crisp, but there's only so many crisps one can make.  Today I made Rhubarb Drop Cookies out of my Northfield Montessori cookbook (special thanks to Grandma Rosie for submitting the recipe).  The cookies are really good!!  They taste similar to oatmeal cookies and the kids love them (mine and the neighbors), which is the most important part!

Here is the recipe.  Note: I did not add the optional ingredients because I did not have them! 

2.c all purpose flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 c. butter
1 c. white sugar
1 egg
1/2 c. raisins (optional)
1/2 c. chopped nuts(optional)
3 tbsp flax seeds (optional)
1/2 tsp ground cloves

Preheat oven to 375.  Combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, cloves, and salt in a bowl.  Set aside.  Beat the butter and sugar with an electric mixer in a large bowl until smooth.  Beat the egg into the butter until completely blended, then stir in rhubarb.  Mix in the flour mixture until just incorporated.  Fold in the raisins, nuts, and flax seed;  mixing just enough to evenly combine.  Drop spoonfuls of the dough 2 inches apart onto ungreased baking sheet.  Bake in oven until lightly browned, 12-15 minutes.  Cool in the pans for 10 minutes before removing to cool completely on a wire rack. 

Try them - they're quick, easy and yummy!!

playdates can be a lifesaver

It's amazing to me how there are times when a house full of seven kids is much less work than a house with just my four.  This afternoon my kids had their friends from next door over.  I made them all lunch, they played outside, played the Wii, played with toys, and watched part of a movie.

Now, these kids have known each other for almost five years - they are more like siblings than neighbors, so every get together does not go this smooth : )  However, today was one of those days when the stars aligned and I was able to bake cookies, some bars and clean up my kitchen all while having seven kids in my house.  And I was able to enjoy them playing and capture conversations like this: 

Lauren and her friend were playing a baseball game on the Wii -

Izzy:  I can't hit homeruns as good as you, Lauren.
Lauren:  You're doing a good job, Izzy.  I practice a lot. 
Me:  Izzy, how do you get better at something?
Izzy:  You have to practice.
Me.  Exactly!
Lauren:  Yeah, like I don't draw hearts as good as you do, so I have to keep practicing. 

Love conversations like those : ) 

Moral of the story:  Playdates can save the day.  At least for today!

No Use Crying Over Spilled Milk

I have a confession:  I can't stand spilled milk.  It's such a silly thing to get upset over, but yet I do.  It bothers me when my kids are being goofy and the milk gets dumped.  It sticks to everything and can be found for years to come.  It splashes on the floor, the chairs, the table, the table legs, the wall, the carpet and I've even found it on walls across the room.  It is so messy and sends by blood boiling.  If it's really an accident, I don't get so upset.  But when it's caused because one of them is waving their hands around trying to make the other kids laugh or holding their cup in their teeth instead of with their hands, I lose it. 

My goal for this summer is not to get so upset about spilled milk. 

Let the small things go, right?

Logan

Oh sweet Logan!  Let me tell you, he is one fiery kid.  He is very particular about e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  Being three years old does not work in his favor.  But on top of being super fiery, he is so very loving and gentle, especially with Emma.  He is a good cuddler, loves to give hugs and kisses and comes up with some of the funniest stuff!  And don't be surprised if you see him out and about dressed up in his Batman costume - referring to himself as Batman. 

Logan will be back in preschool in the fall.  I think it will be hard for him to be without Josh, but he'll find his way.  His favorite color is black, his favorite food is chicken nuggets (there's a theme with all the kids on that one!), his favorite song is "Moves Like Jagger", his favorite show is Thomas the Train and he wants to be a "daddy's dentist" when he grows up.  He loves to play baseball and to swing on the swingset.  Logan learned how to pump his legs on the swing so now he doesn't have to wait for me to get done feeding Emma before he can swing : ) 

Logan's summer plans include some swimming lessons (if he'll get in the water!) and going on our family vacation to Milwaukee and Green Bay.  We're hoping that he will be out of pull-ups at night (he is potty trained during the day) so that he can stay overnight at Grandma and Bumpa's in Austin - the big reward for being fully potty trained!

Joshua

Joshua just graduated from preschool!  I will post pictures soon.  Josh is very excited for kindergarten.  He's started reading and is so very proud!  He works hard at sounding out words and gets super happy when he gets a word right.  He will be going to Greenvale with Lauren, which Lauren is very excited about: ) 

Josh has gotten so tall in the last few months.  He just looks like a boy now instead of a little boy!  He is growing out of his baby-ness way too quickly for this mama's liking!  His favorite food is chicken nuggets, his favorite color is green, his favorite song is "Beth" by KISS (but he really likes the Glee version), and his favorite cartoon is Bugs Bunny.  He loves playing with Logan and Lauren and he LOVES Emma.  He holds her, feeds her, talks silly talk to her, and plays with her.  He's always concerned about her and he loves to make her smile!  He's such a fantastic helper.  He (and Lauren) has chores that he needs to do but there is also a list of "things you can do" to earn a coin or a bead (once the kids earn enough beads they will get a fish for their Pirate fishtank).  Josh is saving his coins for a Nintendo DS : )  He got his first sliver just last week (on the bottom of his foot), which was very unpleasant and he's all scraped up from falling here and there off scooters and whatnot.  Are five-year-old boys just really uncoordinated?  He's seems to be all arms and legs!! 

Josh's summer plans include swimming lessons, golf, soccer, playing with his buddies, vacation bible school, a trip to Milwaukee/Green Bay/Conover and probably a few overnights at Grandma and Bumpa's in Austin. 

Lauren

I figure I'll give an update on each kid and I'll start with the first born.  Lauren just completed first grade at Greenvale Park.  She had a really great school year, excelling in reading and following the classroom rules : )  She made many new friends at her new school which was really fantastic.  For kindergarten she attended St. Dominic's here in Northfield.  We loved St. D's, but when we found out Kraby baby #4 was on the way, we felt that paying tuition for four kids at this point would not be a good fiscal move for our family.  We determined that first grade would be a good time to start at a new school since all the kids were split up in kindergarten and would be coming together for full days in first grade.  Anyways, we miss St. Dominic's and we still support the school in whatever way we can - even if that means attending Saints Night Out (the annual fundraiser) three days after giving birth!!! 

Lauren is very good at coming up with games and activities for her brothers, feeding and playing with Emma, being a helper around the house and anything creative.  When she grows up she wants to be an artist, her favorites colors are pink and yellow, her favorite food is chicken nuggets, her favorite song is "Mean" by Taylor Swift and her favorite show/movie is anything with Scooby Doo.  She is so very loving and caring.  And she is incredibly smart - I am amazed every day at the questions she asks and what she understands from the world around her. 

Lauren's plans for the summer include soccer, golf, basketball, swimming lessons, a book club with a couple friends, baking club (we might postpone that one until winter!), helping me plant the garden (yes, we are very late on this!), and turning 7 in July!!! 

BABY EMMA!!!

On February 22, 2012 we welcomed Emma Louise Kraby to our family at 12:56 am!  She weighed 7 pounds 13 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long.  She has completed our family and we are loving every second of watching her grow and change.  Lauren wanted a sister very much and was extremely excited that she got one!  Emma just goes with the flow.  She is used to running errands, sitting at activities, being held by lots of different people and loves the busyness of the Kraby house.  She has been sleeping through the night for a while now, which is so wonderful.  Those weeks when she wasn't were really rough - trying to keep up with 3 other kids on little sleep was not fun!  We are so thankful that so many of our friends stepped in to help us out with the boys taking them for playdates so I could catch a nap with Emma.  And both Josh and Lauren love feeding Emma, which is very helpful to me when Brian is at work.  Lauren claims she wants to change Emma's diaper - I think we'll hold off on that one!

So now our family is complete!  I have those moments during the day when I look at my kids helping each other or playing together that my heart melts.  Of course, that is usually followed closely by a "that's not fair!" or a "I'm telling!", but I'm really trying to soak in those precious moments because they are fleeting.  Emma is 3 1/2 months old now and I cannot believe how fast the time has gone!  There are many moments I wish time would stand still - they are all growing up so fast!  For now, I will enjoy the summer I have with them all home, all still wanting to be with me (for the most part!) : ) 

It's been a long time, baby!!

Oh my!!  It has been FOREVER since I posted - since January of 2011.  That's way too long!!  There has been so much that happened in 2011 and the first half of 2012, I won't try to catch you all up in one post, but the highlight has been the birth of our fourth baby Emma Louise Kraby.  She is such a super baby.  She is 3 months old now and has been sleeping through the night for quite a while.  She loves her sister and brothers and they are all very helpful and loving with her.  The lowlight was the loss of our nephew Nicholas.  He was a beautiful soul and is missed every single day.  And inbetween that really high high and that really low low, we've been living life - the nose-wiping, potty-training, discipline-invoking, baseball-playing, volunteer-ing, play dating life that we love and are so blessed to be living.